Missing my Grandma

I don't know why, but I've been so emotional about my grandma's death lately. She died fairly suddenly last May, the day before Mother's Day. We weren't actually that close, but I did hear that I was her favorite grand kid. She lived near me my whole life up until about 7 years ago. While she lived out here I didn't see her as often as I could have. After she moved back to WI, I probably had seen her 3 times. I found out on a Thursday she wasn't well, my mom flew back there on Friday and she died on Saturday. I chalked it up to being almost 8 months pregnant for being so emotional about not being able to go back to see her and attend her service, but I guess it wasn't just hormones.

Even now, almost 6 months later, I still cry when I think about her - and I think about her a lot. I think about how she knew about my infertility, and how excited she was that I got pregnant and with twins. I get so sad knowing she died just weeks before the girls were born. She never got to see them. I get angry that she died when I was so far along and even if I could have afforded the last minute airfare, that I wasn't allowed to fly anyway. The last time I saw her was two years ago this Thanksgiving. I get so sad.

Yesterday a coworker missed work due to her grandfather's death. She came in this morning and we were talking about it. I think I got more emotional than she did. Even as I write this, I'm teary eyed.

I'm am thankful though, that my girls have young grandparents and they should be around for a long time. AND they have good grandparents that will spend time with them and have fun with them. That is something I didn't get from my own grandparents.

I am also thankful that even though they will never know their great-grandma they do get to hold on to some of her things. My mom brought back two quilts they girls can use on their big-girl beds, two small, framed Capodimonte pieces and I got a couple of pairs of her earrings. My mom asked me if there was anything of grandma's that I remembered and would like to have, that's how I got the Capodimonte pieces. It's just lucky she brought back two small ones instead of one, that way I can pass those on to my girls as a keepsake from their great-grandma.